Ship of Dreams
by Monkey r good Chikens r evil
Summary: Winnie never wanted to go back to South Hampton. It was the only place that she was ever happy. But going back would mean that she would finally discover who he, her friends and herself are. According to her journal. After all, Two hearts become one..
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I don't own the Titanic, or anything on the ship. Just my characters, and idea. (Save for the related characters from the movie.)

A/N- First off I just want to say thank you for reading. Also, for the people who have already read this, I decided to delete this story and fix the errors. (Maybe throw in different things.) YEAH! Have to be happy about that. Happy reading!

**April 3, 1912**

My heart is racing quicker than the engine of our motorcar! I finally arrive home today from a long year of boarding school. It's hard to think I've been gone for an entire year without seeing my beloved town of Southampton, and my family. They of coarse did send letters of how my little brother Edward is growing up, and how my father is progressing in his work.

At this very moment as I'm writing in this journal, (a gift from grandmamma) I'm looking at the familiar scenes that mark the way to home. The tunnel of oak trees, that curve so perfectly inward, there is scarcely room for sunlight to come peaking through. To my left I see our lake; the clear sapphire color reminds me of all the summers my family and I spent there.

Oh my lucky stars! I see the manor! I wish to write more, but I can't control my excitement! Maybe I can write later tonight. -For now, farewell.

**April 3, 1912. Later**

We had the most wonderful supper tonight. Libby, got to cook this evening. (Olga is really our cook, however, Libby cooks better.) She made fried goose, peppermint cakes, rack of lamb, sweet potatoes, French tarts, biscuits, and my favorite, vanilla ice cream. Mother says Libby had been slaving away outside for two days just to make it.

Speaking of mother, she was the first to greet me. It was quite a scene seeing her scarlet hair flapping about in front of her face, wearing nothing except her crossest, those awful pants that go to your knees, and her brightly colored orange stockings she loves so much. Honestly, she looked like a wild women. If any of the neighbors saw, they would have died in fright.

She grasped me into a tight bear huge. It was such a squeeze, I felt like my insides would burst. She started getting all teary eyed when she was squeezing me, and it spread like a disease, because I began to get teary eyed too. I smiled looking up into her two different colored eyes. (One sea green, the other indigo.)

Then my father came out. Everyone says I look like him more than my mother. I believe it is because we have the same features; Our hair is both dirty blond, we both have hazel eyes, and our noses look like a ski jump. He took me from my mother's arms and grasped me into his. The sent of coffee filled my nose.

The last person to come out was Edward, and his nurse, Lucy. I call her Lulu, because she was the same nurse I had when I was little. Edward, being that he never saw me since he was the age of one (I did doubt he would ever recognize me), was shy for his age. Most of the children I meet two years of age were very talkative. However after we got acquainted he started to get use to my company.

- It's rather late. It's 11:07 and I'm tired from my journey. I will try to write tomorrow, but I doubt it, because grandmamma and Father Joseph is coming for a visit.

**April 4, 1912**

How boring father Joseph is. HOW boring he is. I usually don't repeat myself, but he is an exception. All he ever talks about is philosophy, God, and politics. I know I shouldn't talk about him like this… if you only know him like I do dear journal. When he was over I guess just listening to himself made him bored, because he voice started to trail off. The next thing I know he is falling asleep on my shoulder; he was even drooling! When I tried to move, I woke him up and he continued on with his conversation like nothing happened. I started to giggle. Grandmamma only hushed me.

Grandmamma. All she cares about is etiquette. (Well mostly. She does talks about it a great deal.) I really do adore her though. I'm even named after her, Winifred Josephine Morrill. Edward shares the same name as my grandfather. Edward Francis Morrill the II.

Mentioning Edward, a funny thing happened between him, and I. Yesterday after Father Joseph left, (thank goodness he left) Edward took me by my hand, and dragged me up the wool carpet stairs. It was awfully hilarious watching him climb up stairs. He is over weight for his age, and has sausage like fingers. (Unlike me who is rather skinny for a person of twelve years.) Edward reminds me of a pig in a way, except with orange fuzz growing out of the top of his head.

Anyway, he kept stumbling over every other step. His trousers are humongous on him, so he kept stumbling on them. Thump… thump. I almost died with laughter. Even once or twice he actually squealed. (Giggle). Eventually we got to his nursery. I couldn't believe how many toys he had, or the beauty of the his room.

The room was once my father's old storage room, but now my parents painted the walls like it was an ocean. I was afraid if I got to close, the waves would gobble me up whole! On top of the waves a pirate ship battles the British navy.

On the south wall, an island on the water. My brother's cradle right under it. When I entered the middle of the room, I turned around to look at the wall I came in from.

The doorframe carved with dolphins, treasure chests, pirate ships, and swords. The wall painted like a forest, where mystical creatures took residence. In the corner there a beautiful hand carved Shetland pony rocking horse. The north wall, a chest bursting with countless number of toys. The window in Gothic style; Stained-glass, with a picture of a harbor, all sorts of people shopping, white horses pulling grand carriages, and seabirds, dogs, and cats.

In front of the east wall (the ocean scene), there is Edwards pram, wardrobe, and Lulu's bed. How I wish my room was this attractive.

The room is glorious; but the most pleasant thing was just being with Edward, and playing games like Napoleon, and the war. The best game so far was pretending to be pirates. I'm so glad Edward let me into his games.

-Wish to write more dear journal, but grandmamma is calling me for lunch. Till then.

**April 4, 1912. Afternoon.**

Libby got to cook again. She out did herself this time. Roasted pig, black bird pie, tossed salad, salmon, raspberry tea, angel food cake, chocolate cookies, dark chocolate candies, and pastries with peppermint cream! How delicious they all were. Even when I was going downstairs for lunch did my mouth begin to water when I smelt the aroma of blackberries being cooked. Ahh….. I can still taste the angel food cake when I close my eyes. Lunch was marvelous, but the greatest part was when mother said father had a surprise for us when he comes home tonight. I can't wait!

-Disturbed again. Mother wants to see me. Adieu.

**April 4, 1912. Evening.**

Dearest Journal, I'm sorry that I have not written for five hours, but I have the most brilliant news! My father who works for the "White Star Line", received eight FIRST CLASS tickets for the R.M.S Titanic from the owner! We are to leave two days from now! Oh my lucky stars! I'm so excited!

This will be my second time on an ocean liner. My father says that no other ship could match it's speed, or luxury. That's probably why my mother gave me these shoes, and traveling gown when she asked to see me this afternoon. How lovely the gown is!

It's a lovely shade of cherry wood. The brass button jacket fits like a glove, while the skirt goes down to my ankles. (The collar on the jacket goes all the way down to the chest, so I'll have to wear my navy blue collar shirt with it.) There is so much to pack, and do before and after dinner, I must go.

**April 5, 1912**

Can you believe it! We are to leave tomorrow! Oh my lucky stars! It's really hectic around here. All the servants are running around the house with laundry baskets and suitcases. Poor Lulu, our leading house maid Agatha was running down the hallway with new linens for my mothers bedroom, and Lulu was just walking out the door frame. BAM! Agatha went right smack into Lulu. You should have seen the linens go flying in every which direction. Lulu, her hair dull and gray was coming out of the tight roll upon her head, was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her bright rosy cheeks.

What happened to Agatha you might be asking dearest journal? Well, she went rolling down the stairs, all the way to the platform part. She banged against the wall and came to a sudden halt. The impact was so great, that the portrait of my great grandma Francine Ann Bell-Morrill fell from the wall.

But do not worry dearest journal, the portrait and Agatha were not harmed. Actually, she was laughing harder then Lulu! Only difference was the snorting. Blond hair came out of her braided pigtails, and her double chin was moving to the beat of the snorts. It was awfully funny.

The linens are all cleaned up so this tiny incident is now forgotten by the rest of the house. Except me, I'll remember it for a life time. And of tiny incidents Eddy, (I'm calling Edward Eddy now) and I put a worm in the privy. (Privy- the place where you have to let go of your human waste.)

It was mo- Oh HUH! I think they found the worm. I have to go. Father is calling me. Have to go.

**April 6, 1912.**

Got a good licking from my fathers belt. It hurts to sit down. I couldn't finish writing, for as a punishment for putting a worm in the privy, I had to get the worm out, and put it back where I found it. Then I had to pack my own cloths and help scrub the dishes after supper.

Even though I got in trouble, my mother even thought it funny. She said, "Winifred Josephine Morrill how could you do such an unthinkable thing?" She then kissed my cheek and said, "That was the most cleverest prank I've ever seen. Scaring Mrs. Plum half to death. How did you ever think of it?"

-Oh my I just remembered! Do you know what day it is? We're leaving today! In about 9 hours from now really. It's 5:34 a.m.. I promise to write later today, but for now I'm going back to bed.

**April 6, 1912. Afternoon.**

Dearest journal, I can't control my excitement! We're pulling out of the driveway! Mother invited Libby, and Agatha with us. Their talking quietly among themselves. Edward is being fussy about the bowtie father got him, so Lulu is trying to hush him about the darn thing.

Father took a different motorcar, so I get to sit in the front seat. - I'm so sorry dearest journal, but I do not wish to write right now. Farwell.

**April 6, 1912. Later**

Oh my lucky stars, oh my lucky stars! We're here! It's even more beautiful then the last time I came. We're staying at THE GRAPES INN. It's exactly 0.2 miles just outside Southampton. Mother said she'll take us to the dock tomorrow to see the ship. I can't wait! I have to go right now, because there is so much to unload.

**April 7, 1912. Afternoon.**

Unloading a motorcar sure takes a long time. I couldn't write at all, and I have very little time to write now, for mother is going to take us to the dock. -She is calling. I promise to write about the dock later.

**April 7,1912. Evening.**

It's larger than the RMS Baltic! Oh dearest journal I say, "If you only had eyes!" **_Titanic_** is larger than four motorcars stacked on each other. I could scarcely see the top of the smoke staff. She is so lengthy, there is barley any dock space for it to be docked.

It's so challenging to describe; The crimson- black paint is the most handsome color I ever seen, with windows round and charming. **_Titanic_** is something out of a dream. I guess that was why they call her the Ship of Dreams.

I was in complete "Ahhhh" when I first laid eyes upon her. So was my mother; multicolor eyes scanning up and down the ship. Edward, who had no interest at all, just threw rocks into the water.

I have admit something dearest journal, even standing next to the **_Titanic_** I felt small, very small. There was something about the ship that gave me an eerie feeling, a feeling that a made me feel uncomfortable. A sinking feeling.

**April 8, 1912.**

Two days left! Can you believe it? After seeing the **_Titanic _**for the first time I can't wait! Except the waiting is going to take some time. It's storming today, and everyone is so busy. Father went to a meet some friends of his, Tomas Andrews, and J. Bruce Ismay. I never meet them, but mother says there very high-class gentleman like father. I really have no idea what that means, and I fancy I don't want to know.

Mother is busy dress shopping with grandmamma, Lulu, and Eddy. Libby is making snacks for our voyage, and Agatha is sleeping in the next room. She sounds like a elephant that's chocking. I might as well go exploring this inn. See what I can find.

**April 8, 1912. Later.**

There's so many different kinds of people in this inn. I went down to the pub (even though I knew I would be in a great deal of trouble if I was caught) to see if I could find some kind of excitement, and sure enough there was.

In the corner there was a stage with a band playing a polka called, "John Ryan's Polka", an old Scottish man alleged to me. There was people dancing a dance that I never seen before. I've only seen waltzes at the parties I've been to.

But do you want to know something exciting dearest journal? The Scottish man that told me the name of the jig, asked me to dance. I said I didn't know the dance. He just smiled a no tooth smile and said, "Ye don't have to know the steps to a dance, ye need only' t move your feet." I just started to jump around, and the old man started to mimic me. At the end of the polka, I decided to leave.

My lucky stars, it was so exciting! I wish I had stayed for the next song, or polka. To be really honest I had no knowledge on what a polka was until today.

-Mother just walked in the door. She wants me to try on a present she got me.

**April 8, 1912. Evening.**

It's the best present I ever received! A solid gold bracelet with half a heart dangling from the end of it. Mother has the other half. I simply adore it.

-Sigh… I must go. Father is back and he is going to take us to a restaurant.

**April 9, 1912.**

One more day, ONE MORE DAY! Mother said I can go back to the ship and look around with Edward if I wanted to. I said I would, therefore dearest journal I'm going to have to leave you on this brass bed. Sorry. But I do wish to go back to the docks. Write in you soon.

**April 9, 1912. Later.**

It stormed again. We had to go back to the inn. Eddy, and I didn't even get a chance to get another peek at "The Ship of Dreams." It doesn't really matter, because I'm going on it tomorrow!

Hmmm. I have no indication what to write about now, so as a result I'll just describe the suite I'm in.

The walls are a mossy green, the carpet is bright purple. A writing desk in the east corner of the room. The bed I'm writing on is made out of brass, and is diagonal from the writing desk. An elegant window seat under the window. Besides that, there is a couch, a rocking chair, and a pianoforte. (Piano.) Libby is playing it right now. -Now then, we're going to have lunch now.

**April 9,1912. Evening**

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! TOMORROW! The Ship of Dreams comes to life, and goes to the Land of Dreams, New York City, America! I never been to America before. Mother has, and she says it's the finest place on the earth. From her memory she recalls The Lady Liberty. I can't wait to meet her! -I have to go to sleep now. Lulu is bothering me about it. She says you need "beauty sleep."

**April 10, 1912. Morning**

The Ship of Dreams! I see it! Sorry if my hand writing is a little messy. I'm trying to write as I run along the dock. We over slept and we only have five minutes bef-

Oh darn it! Fell on my new dress, stockings ripped. Can't write right now dearest journal.

**April 10, 1912. Later**

Oh dearest journal, if you only had eyes! This really is the most grandest ship in the world. It's good news to tell that we were on time. There was so many people on the dock, I thought I would never have made it for they were blocking my path to **_Titanic_**.

As we made our way up the latter way that was between the green sea, and the ship I spotted a blond and a brown hair fellow. I saw them as I was running. They must be steerage. Father said something to my mother about steerage. It was a cruel thing to my ears, but I think it would be fair to repeat what he said.

"You know Mary, I wouldn't want to be caught in the rags of the deprived, and with their dilemma when it comes to money. I could never think of it. I tell you, God should have never took pity on them in the first place. Killed them off when he had the chance. Let the richer walk the earth"

"Now George, if God did that, then he would have to kill us all… or just men. You know men are so competitive when it comes to that, money and all."

"Mary?" My father was confused by that, and paused. My mother lifted her purple hat, smiled, then she gave him a peck on the cheek and went ahead of him through the doors leading on to the ship. The purple train of her gown trailing behind her.

I just stood there a few seconds looking back at the dock. That feeling came over me again dearest journal, that sinking feeling. Like something very awful was going to happen, very awful. I stood there a couple more seconds, while Lulu, Eddy, Libby, and Agatha went through the doors.

A few more seconds… I think I was transfix or something, because a voice in my head was screaming, stay on the dock, STAY ON THE DOCK! I only ignored it. I think someone brought me back to reality, because a lady with very bright red hair and a large striped hat poked me. "Are you going aboard? I believe the ship is going to leave in about two minutes." The lady, had the most saddest eyes I ever saw. Like she didn't want to go on this ship, like a second part of me did.

"Oh yes." I walked through the doors just when the bellhop said, "Last boarding call for TITANIC. (He looked at me.) Welcome aboard."

**April 10, 1912. On the Staircase**

The STAIRCASE! It is to be the grandest thing on the ship. The Mahogany wood shined to perfection with an angel statue at the end of the stair railing; The marble flooring has compass deigns in every which direction. A clock being held up by human beings, or are they goddess? On the top of the staircase.

I'm in complete "Ahhhh" as I'm writing on the Grand Staircase on "A" deck. Staring up into the dome over head seabirds fly, FLY, above me. The sky clear sapphire, with not a cloud in sight.

Mother and father, who are waiting for me, have given me a scolding about how un-lady like it is to keep someone waiting, say I can take Edward up to the deck to see Titanic leave port. -Sorry that I must leave you with Lulu dearest journal, but this can't wait!

**April 10, 1912. 47 minutes later.**

Goodbye, goodbye Southampton! Eddy and I just got back from the deck. It was so wonderful being on the deck, feeling the wind blow on my braided pigtails, the air full of sea salt. Eddy and I ran to the side of the ship where other people were waving goodbye to their loved ones. I leaned over the edge and saw that at the front of the ship the waves were splitting; like the Titanic was cutting them in two.

I was so caught up in all of excitement, I started yelling, "Goodbye, goodbye I'll miss you! Goodbye Southampton, adieu rolling green hills of England. America here I come!" (Two other people close by were almost shouting the same thing.)

Eddy started whining. He wanted me to pick him up so he could see. I said I couldn't in public, because older sisters don't do such a thing in less they are in the company of their own home, not on a ship such as the Titanic. (One of grand mamma's rules.)

He just started whimpering. Bollocks. I would have done it anyway, if not a blond hair fellow picked him up for me.

I was baffled, and surprised. Taken back that a lower-class person would do that. He just smiled at me and said, "Jack Dawson." American. He stuck out two filthy hands. He must have noticed my white gloves. " All do respect miss, I don't want to soil your gloves." A young man came behind him with a black- brown cap on his head. "This here is Fabrizio De Rossi." He nodded toward him.

"Winifred Josephine Morrill." I nodded my head ever so slightly like grandmamma told me to do. "That there in your hands is my brother Edward Francis Morrill the II." I wanted to add my pig- like brother, but that would have insulated my grandmamma.

"Well Ms. Morrill, it is a pleasure meeting you both." He smiled a huge smile. He is very handsome; Blond hair, and blue eyes.

I just smiled back, "Like wise Mr. Dawson, and Mr. De Rossi." I said in my most ladylike voice I could come up with.

"Hey Jack a real first class lady." Fabrizio said. He had a real Italian accent! I've heard Italian accents before in the opera's, and plays I've been to, but never a "real one." I was a little insulated, but then I had to say something to show that I was not, and to take it as a complement.

"Thank you very much." I looked really closely at them, like I have seen them before.

Jack most have noticed, because he said, "Is their something about me Ms. Morrill, or is it that I can't compare to your first class expectations?" I felt a little embarrassed, and a little guilty. Maybe he thought I was stuck up, and just insulated him.

"No, no it's not that Mr. Dawson,"

"Please call me Jack."

"Jack, it's just that I've seen you before."

"You have?" I looked down at my stockings, then noticed the rip. Then I remembered someone running… "You ran into me!"

"That was me? I'm very sorry for the inconvenience then miss."

"Please call me Winnie. And it's all right. I've had worst falls than that one." Jack looked at me. He had a glint of laughter in the corner of his eye. He put Eddy down. Eddy sat on the deck next to Fabrizio and played with his hat. Eddy, who managed to get his bowtie off, handed it to Fabrizio. I just continued my conversation with this new stranger.

I noticed a leather book in a bag that Jack had draped over his shoulder. "What's that?"

"Oh this here," he pointed to it. "It's just my art."

"Art?" That must have come out like I was dim-witted. When I was about to say I know what it is, he just said….

"You know drawings, sketches stuff like that." He took the book out. He started showing me these picturesque drawings. He turned to a page were a lady was sitting at a bar. He told me her story.

I can't really remember all of it, but I'll repeat it the best I can.

He told me, "See this women." He pointed her out. She had tons of jewelry on, and a shaggy dress. "This women would sit at this bar every night wearing every peace of jewelry she owned. She is waiting for her lost lover. See how moth eaten her dress is." I looked at the drawing ever so closely, and sure enough there was little shaggy holes everywhere. There is a name to this women, but I forgot.

Jack was about to show me some of his drawings he did in Paris, when grandmamma came on deck.

"Winifred!" I turned around in a flash almost knocking Jack's drawing book, which was balancing on the rail, overboard. He made a gurgling noise and caught it before it went over. Eddy, and Fabrizio stopped their giggling which was going on when Jack, and I were in conversation.

My grand mamma's face turned a bright red color, almost the color of her waist coat dress. This meant one thing… I was in a serious mess.

"Winifred. I think you, and Edward had enough time on the deck for one day. Now if you will say goodbye to these," she looked up and down Jack, and Fabrizio, "People, and return to the state-rooms. You can help unpack." I looked from Jack to grandmamma.

Jack turned to me," Go on Ms. Morrill. Me, and Fabrizio have to go down to steer… the lower combinations to check if there are rats." I gave a little laugh only he could hear. Grandmamma looked at me sternly.

"Did you hear that Winifred, they must go back to were they come from, and we must go back to ours. Come." She nodded her head, then turned and walked back through the door leading to "A" deck.

"Goodbye Jack, and Fabrizio. Come on Eddy." Eddy started whimpering again. He ran into me gently, and took my hand.

"Goobi Fabri." He started waving is sausage like fingers.

"Goodbye master Ed." Ed? Has this Italian person befriended my brother? We turned to leave. I started thinking about it, when Jack grabbed my arm.

"All show you the rest of my pictures later Winnie." He whispered. I just nodded my head and walked away.

Now I'm stuck in my state room. I can't write anymore, because grandmamma is on my every move. I got a great scolding from everyone, and now I have to unpack my things, and help my brother with his things.

**April 10, 1912. Evening**

Bullocks. Grandmamma made me stay behind in the stateroom, while everyone else goes to the dinning room for supper. I'm so angry right now, I don't know what to do. Grandmamma stopped me at the door just when mother, and father left the room.

"Winifred, I will not let you eat with us after your performance with those under prived beggars. You will stay here for the rest of the evening." She started putting on her yellow elbow-gloves, that matched her yellow shoulder dress. "I will send a bellhop with a plate of supper for you." Then she looked at me very closely, then turned away out into the hallway. She said one last thing before disappearing down it. "A young lady, must learn from her mistakes."

Mistakes? How is it a mistake talking to a fellow? Especially one in steerage. I understand a worm incident, but talking? Oh dearest journal, I don't understand some of the time how first-class persons are supposed to act. Most of the people I have seen which belong to higher classes, are snobbish, and not together kind enough to lift a finger to the undervalued. My own father is even that way. I just don't… understand.

**April 11,1912.**

Repeating. I hate when I do that. Especially when I'm very tired. I must have fallen asleep, while writing last night. Grandmamma, and everyone else left for breakfast. Grandmamma said something about not going to breakfast just incase if someone saw me talking to Jack.

I might as well describe the room I'm in, because I have a feeling it will turn out to be my prison. (Sigh)

As you walk into the room from the hallway, you come into a fairly large room with maple paneling, and gold designs over it. The far wall, across from the door leading into the hall, is the door to our private deck.

On the back wall, (where people come into the room) in the right corner is layout sofa. (One of those sofas with just one arm, and is laying lengthwise.)

In the left corner is your average two armed sofa. There is a dining table in the center of the room; Cherry wood perhaps.

East wall there is an cherry wood/ marble fireplace. The fireplace is also decorated in gold. The front has a gold seashell. On the mantle is a beautiful silver/golden mantle clock. Fresh sunflowers in a blown glass vase sit on each side of the clock, because mother loves them so. A zigzag mirror is above it.

I look uncanny. My hair plated in to two long chest length braided pigtails. A red velvet hat with a bulky violet on top of my head. My red jacket buttoned up to my neck with sliver buttons, and my dark navy blue skirt peeking slightly from underneath. I think I look like an alien to all the other passengers. (Mostly made up of steerage.)

In any case back to my state-room. (A.k.a my prison.) I loath the floor in this room. Gray carpet with floral print. It looks like my Aunt Elinor's wedding dress. (Giggle.) Eddy's, and my room are attached to this room, or in civilized terms, the parlor. In our room, are two brass beds. Eddy gets the largest one, for he has to share with Lulu. That bed is by the door leading into the room I just described. My bed, that fits only one person, is by the little hallway that leads to my parents bedroom, (Eddy, and I are not aloud to go in there) and another doorway that leads into the hallway. Grandmamma has her own suite. I feel bad for Libby, and Agatha though. They have to sleep on the sofas.

-Hmmm. The bellhops here. Must be my breakfast. Farewell dearest journal.

**April 11, 1912. Later.**

Finally Grandmamma let me out of this room.

I'm on the deck now, sitting on a lawn chair. There's a whole row of them going along the edge of the railing. I hate the dress I'm wearing. I believe I already described it. The stockings are ridding up my legs. I wish I can wear trousers like Eddy, instead of this monstrous thing. I just hat- Oh here comes Jack.

**April 11, 1912. 30 minutes later.**

Jack showed me the loveliest drawings of his from Paris here on the deck. I was a little uncomfortable with the nudity of the women in the pictures. In most of pictures there was the same girl over, and over.

"Jack. Do you love this girl? She is in every picture." I blurted out. I guess a blushed a little when I said that.

"No, just her hands. She is a one legged prostitute. See." He pointed to a full picture of the girl. She had only one leg.

"Oh my golly goodness." I started to giggle.

"What?" He looked like he was going to start giggling too. But when he said "what" I just busted into laughter. He started to do the same. I haven't the faintest idea why I was laughing.

"Hey Winnie can I see your hands?" I stopped laughing, and looked at him blankly.

"My hands? Why on earth would anyone like to see my hands?"

"Please?" He looked so handsome when he said that, I started to take off my gloves. Then I put my hands in his. They were so warm, I could have melt right in the lawn chair I was sitting in. He started to examine the features on my hands.

"You have fine-looking hands. Not to hard, not to soft, but perfect. There's fine lines in them, that's a good thing. You fingers are the perfect thickness.."

"Thickness?"

"Yes thickness. You have the best hands I've ever seen Ms. Winnie Morrill."

"Thank you… I suppose." I pulled my hands away putting them in my lap. I was trying not to smile, but I couldn't help blushing. Jack started smirking. I was about to say something when this lady with very bright red hair came walking down the deck.

She was wearing a white blouse, and the rest of the dress was yellow, and went all the way up to the chest. I recognized her at once. It was the women who woke me from my trance before I boarded the ship .

"Hello Jack." She looked at him, then at me and smiled, her green eyes sparkling. "Who's your friend?"

"Rose this is my good friend Ms. Winifred Morrill." He smiled at me, and handed me back my gloves. I stood up, putting my gloves on in haste. I stuck out my hand to shake this Rose persons hand.

"Rose DeWitt Bukater." She shook my hand daintily. Then for a view quick seconds she started to examine me. "Miss Morrill. Is your father by any chance thee George Jefferson Morrill? The vice President of "White Star."

"Yes he is." I boosted proudly. I smiled a huge smile at this Rose DeWitt Bukater. She did the same. Her eyes wilding up with a sadness I never knew existed. She turned away when she saw me looking at her face.

"Jack. Were you not going to show me your drawings today?" She looked at him longingly. I could tell by the look on her face, that she was falling head over heels for Jack. I was saying to myself, she can't have him. I saw him first.

"Oh yes Rose, I was." His face showed a longing for Rose. I felt a little pain in my heart. "Hey Winnie. I'm going to go show Rose my drawings. So if you don't mind me leaving…"

"No, I don't mind."

"Thanks Winnie, your great." He brushed his hand against my cheek, then started walking down the boat deck with Rose. I felt a mixture of sadness, and jealousy within me. -Now I'm stuck on the boat deck. Alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**April 11, 1912. 5 minutes later.**

I hate being alone. I feel very small, and uncared for. When Jack left I stared out into the ocean. I wonder what it's like being out there; not on a boat or anything. Just being able to float on your back staring up at the sky. Being free. It sounds rather charming. However I wonder how cold the water is.

Although I have other news to talk about dearest journal, instead of silly little day fancies. When I was looking out into the ocean, I noticed a boy at the corner of my eye. He was glancing at me over a large crate. He kept glancing over until an officer called him.

I really didn't get to see his face, but he looked at me with piercing blue eyes. I couldn't tell the hair color because he was wearing a cap. I guess it's not important.

In any case, today Captain Edward J. Smith is going to take my family and I on a special tour of the ship. Oh I can't wait! It will be perfectly exhilarating. -Only for now dearest journal, I'm going to lie down, and stare out at the ocean.

**April 11, 1912. Evening.**

The tour was magnificent! We saw the captains wheel, the boilers, the bridge, the gymnasium. The boiler room was so blackened by suit, and there were muscular men throwing coal into the huge furnaces. The boilers were higher than two motor cars stacked one on top of the other. My favorite room though, was the Turkish baths. It held the largest swimming pool I ever seen. The room was covered in tiles; Blues, greens, purples, reds, oranges, with abstract patterns. The doors had little domes on top of them. Mother and I left Edward and father to go swimming. I wanted to go to, but mother said we had to go needle-stitch on our private deck. How boring that was.

We got back from supper an hour ago. I got to go this time, but I wished I stayed in my room. Mother said since my thirteenth birthday would be approaching in approximately one month, that I'm able to wear a women's gown.

The gown was white and made a "U" shape on the top of the gown to show off my shoulders. The bodice tight around my hips to show my curves; even though I have little to show. The sleeves draped my elbows, and dripped a little. The rest of the gown flowed like a waterfall all the way to my feet, but went a little ways to the floor, for I wasn't tall enough.

My hair was let down, and grandmamma tied pearls and diamonds into it. What the diamonds and pearls were for, was grand mamma's idea of catching a rich suitors eye.

"Winifred. You will glint around that dinning room with pride and elegance with these trinkets." She turns me around to face her. "Nonetheless you are the survival to this family. How you marry depends on our life in society. Even though our family is already wealthy and have a position, we can do better. No, not better, but superior. You will be our savoir."

She gave me a kiss, then looked at me. Her hair in a bun on top of her head. Peacock feathers sticking out of it. Her bright blue and green gown matching the feathers colorful pattern; Herself looking like a peacock.

"Winifred. We must go now. It was nice having a chat, but your parents are waiting for us." That's when we left down the hall to the dinning room.

The glass windows are so magnificent. The colored glass lets the light in by chose making the colors dance till there is no tomorrow. Windows come alive like they are in a dream. Although I'm on the Ship of Dreams so anything's possible. I guess that is their way of having fun. Nobody can tell them no.

Sorry dearest journal. I have gotten to far off subject. Anyhow we met mother, and father in the dinning room. We sat at a large globular table; Five glasses, three knifes, three forks, two spoons, one butter knife, a bread plate, and an napkin on the menu. To me that is a great number of utensils for just one meal.

When I said "We" I meant father, Jack (he was invited somehow) Rose, her mother Ruth, her fiancée Cale Hockley, the loud mouth Margaret Brown (A.k.a Molly. I enjoy her. She has a mind of her own) Mr. Andrews, mother, and I. (Grandmamma was sitting with Mr. Ismay, and his wife, the Count, and Countess, and the Duke and Duchess of York.)

While half way through dinner, Rose told us how Jack saved her life.

"I wanted to take a peek at the propellers." She started to pretend to lean over. "I accidentally leaned to far over and slipped over the railing." She turned her head toward Jack. "If it wasn't for Mr. Dawson, I would have completely fallen over the edge, and ended my life."

"Then sadly I would have no one to marry right dear." Cale grabbed her hand and gave it a kiss. Rose turned to him and smiled a fake smile.

"Yes Cale." I never saw someone act that way before. I think I was the only one who noticed, but she looked hurt. Like she was dying inside. Her smile was fake, and her voice wounded, like she surrendered to something.

Her mother, which I heard from servants gossip said that she was flat broke and hated Jack. They said that Jack was falling in love with Rose, and that her mother would stop at nothing to get him out of the picture before he messed anything up with the marriage to Cale.

"Mr. Dawson, how is the commendations in steerage." She grinned at him, proving to everyone that he was not superior to us.

"The best ever M'am. Hardly any rats." Molly gave a little laugh.

After supper, the men slipped away to have brandy and talk about money, and politics. When Jack got up to leave I saw that he had slipped Rose a piece of paper. I glanced over, and saw what it said.

"Make it count. Meet me by the clock."

I followed Rose to the clock. Nobody really cared if I left the dinning room. They were all wrapped up in their own silly little gossips, and conversations.

I followed Jack and Rose as they took the lifts to "D" deck. I never been down there before. There were so many people. They spoke languages I never heard before: Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Dutch, Swedish, Polish, just to name a few.

I followed Jack and Rose into a room where there was a band playing some type of jig. I just stood where I was, watching people dance a dance I never seen before.

In point of fact, it was rather thrilling to watch as people began to spin around, and around. Getting dizzy, but never caring to stop. I felt left out. Of course wouldn't I be? I probably looking odd in my clothing, watching as men and women got drunk on rum. Them smoking their cigarettes they probably found on the deck from first class passengers.

I saw Rose and Jack dancing together. It tore at my heart a little. Then I noticed: Jack and Rose fallen in love. Oh how, I wanted to rush out of that room, and weep until I could have died on the floor I stood on.

Jack turned around when Rose was standing on the tip of her toes. He looked at me and gave me one of his wonderful smiles. That really hurt me, so I ran out of the room.

"Winnie." He yelled down the corridor after me. I stopped dead in my tracks. He came rushing toward me. "What's the matter?" He looked at the tears forming in my eyes, and falling down my cheeks. "What.. Why's there tears on your face?" He brushed his hand against my cheek. "Winnie please don't cry. It breaks my heart to see you cry."

"I…I'm not crying."

"Come on Winnie, I know when a person is crying." He pulls me into a hug, then grabs my shoulders. "Now, tell me why you're so unhappy." I looked at him, then down the corridor seeing Rose standing by the door way.

"I don't want to rune your fun." I nod my head toward Rose.

"Winnie, if this is about Rose I have something to say. Sure I'm starting to have strong feelings about Rose, but there is a place in my heart for you. You're the first person who ever enjoyed my drawings. You see things and have feelings about them. There is nothing that is holding you back from speaking your mind. That's why I like you." He gave my kiss on the cheek. "Save a dance for you."

I put a hand to my cheek; it still burning from the warmth of his lips. "That's ok Jack. I have to go anyway. Mother might give herself a nose bleed if I'm gone to long. Maybe some other time."

"Ok." He gave me a pat on the head, and walked back toward Rose. He turned around, and waved. I returned one back, feeling quite embarrassed. Then if on queue, a door came ripping open. A force knocked me into the door right in front of me.

"AND IF YOU EVER COME IN MY ROOM AGAIN YOU GRIMY LITTLE DAMN, I'M TELLING THE WARRENT ON YOU!" The monstrous voice that yelled noticed the attention she gathered. "WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL YOU LOOKING AT? MIND YOUR BLOODY BUSSINESS." The door closed with great strength, knocking a mirror off the wall and shattering it into a million light catchers. The force that knocked me into the door, was a person. It was a boy that fell on me to be proper.

"Pardon me!" He quickly got up so he could offer me some service.

"Ms. I'm so sorry. You must forgive my Aunt Ella. She can be a witch some of the time, but she means well. Here give me your hand, I'll help you off of the dirty floor." I turned myself around to get a better look at the person who fell on me.

He was wonderfully built. His eyes a piercing blue, that sent a shudder up my spin. Not a frightening shudder, but an entrancing shudder. His hair a dirty blond, and he was not to thin, and not to fat; but some how perfect.

He looked back at me. I'm not sure where, but some how I did not care. He lifted me up off the floor and was still holding my hand.

"Haven't we meet before?" He did look familiar.

"Umm. I don't think we have Ms."

"No, I think we have." I tired reaching for my memories. "I know, you're the boy from the deck. The one lifting crates."

"Why maybe I did see you Ms.. Weren't you that girl…"

Oh dearest journal, I wish I could have gone on, but grandmamma came down with Cale's servant Lovelitt .

"Heavens!" I pulled my hand out of palm of the boys. Grandmamma came, and stood at my side.

"Winifred, what are you doing down here."

"Grandmamma, I came down here with Rose and Ja-"

"Of coarse that lower class commoner." She noticed the boy in front of me. "And who is this young man?" The boy, stuck out his hand, but grandmamma refused to take it.

"Jeremy Aims. Madam, I mean Ms. Missus."

"Well Mr. Aims. If you excuse us, my granddaughter, and I have to go get our sleep. We had a very exhausting day." She turned on her heels and walked a little ways down the hall. "Come Winifred."

I rushed down the hall after her, not looking back.


	3. Chapter 3

**April 12, 1912**

NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! Why, dear diary should I be punished. It was Rose, all Rose's fault. God damn her to the fiery pits of hell.

Why did Jack have to fall in love with her? Why? I should never have even met him. I wish the Titanic will sink, NO! The UNSINKABLE ship does sink. Dragging all the people I hate with it! Jack, mother, father. Grandmamma.

Including Rose! I wish her face gets cut open by those propellers she admirers so much. Her cold violet, red blood oozing down her face, and into her poor pitiful mouth where she says devilish things to make people bend to her power.

Not me! Not Winifred Morrill, oh no! When people are boarding the life boats to save their pathetic lives, the last thing she will see on earth is my face. All the pain she put me through…..the agony, she will see in my face. She will be calling for help, and I will be smiling a huge smile, with teeth baring.

**April 13, 1912. 1:34 p.m.**

Nightmares. Cold, evil nightmares. People frozen like the ice-cream Libby makes. White, cold, and frozen. No sign of life at all. A dead thing. I think the nightmares had something to do with what I written in you yesterday dearest journal .

The most terrifying nightmare I had so far is that I see Rose in a black funeral gown. There is a see- through vial covering her face. Her face, all hacked open on one side with worms and maggots in the skin going through holes of flesh out an in.

Then there is Jack. Frozen. Ice all over him; just the white of his eyes looking at me. Under his left breast where his heart is supposed to be is a big empty hole. Rose is holding it in her hands. Laughing and snarling, she starts playing with his heart and starts licking the blood off it. She is squealing with delight.

"I got Jack's heart….I got Jack's heart." She then walks over to me and rubs Jack's heart on my lips. I try pulling away, but she grabs my arm and digs her nails into my arm laughing wickedly. Her eyes light up with fire. She still is repeating, "I got Jacks heart… I got Jack's heart."

I get away from Rose's grasp, except I keep backing up. Finally I can't back up any more and I fall over the railing. I keep falling and look up to see Rose starring down at me laughing. Jack stands beside her and kisses her while laughing at me and putting one of his hands out, "trying" to catch me.

I plunge into the ocean; except it isn't exactly an ocean… It's an ocean of blood. There is ice-covered people all around me grabbing at me. I start sinking slowly, but then I increase my speed. On my stomach I twist till I'm on my back side. Then I see it.

The great ship Titanic starts to descend on me. I try to open my mouth to scream, but blood comes into my lungs filling them up with the revolting substance. Titanic is about to smash me when I put my hands to my eyes to cover my face from my fate. I wake up screaming.

Lulu told me she had to calm me down a least four times last night. I was in shock so bad that Agatha had to take Eddy out of the room to sleep with her, because I was scaring him so badly.

Around the fourth time I screamed, Lulu said mother telegraphed the health infirmary at once to get a doctor. I believe I remembered some of it; a tall lean man with a twisted bushy mustache told me to stick out my tongue.

I remember having the taste of wood being shoved down my throat. All this happened around two in the morning. Another thing I remember is Lulu telling me I screamed so loud I awoke everyone who was on either side of us.

Grandmamma had to go out in her nightdress explaining that a third class passenger gave me a disease. Which not to alarm anyone is not contagious. All of it a lie.

Now I'm here all alone in bed, because the doctor thought what my grandmamma said was true.

"She is delusional, and has a Nightmare symptom. There for Ms. Morrill should stay in bed." With that he left. As well as my family to go have afternoon tea.

It wouldn't matter anyway if I'm in bed. I would have to stay in the suite, because I went down to steerage last night. Hmm… so curious. I wonder if that boy is still around. That is also one person who has been on mind lately. I still can't get over his eyes.

- I'm going to take a nap dearest journal. Maybe now I can get some rest. GOD please may I have no more nightmares.


	4. Chapter 4

**April 13, 1912. 4:46 p.m.**

I awoke screaming again… I just can't get that bloody nightmare out of my head. I woke up screaming after five minutes when I laid my head down on my pillow.

What was the use at any rate? There was no one to hear me… no one at all. I'm all alone. Everyone leaves me behind. You know dearest journal I know I may sound pitiful and all but I was left alone even when I was little.

My parents went to parties. Sometimes they would notice me. I mean they do love me, but they only ignored me, because I wasn't the son they wanted. Except that changed now. Mother and father do things with me now.

Anyway, enough of these depressing memories. In any case, when I said I was all alone when I woke up screaming, I wasn't… The boy from steerage was in my room.

Well, coming out of the bathroom. He had shaving cream and cuts on his face. He had no shirt on, except trousers. The flaps hanging down on his side.

I gave a little shriek, and hid under the covers. I must have frightened him more, because he backed into the wall. After an odd pause I peeked my head out from under the covers.

"What….What…why are you in my room?"

"Shaving what do think?"

"You do a horrible job at it I might say."

"Well, what do you know about shaving you're a girl." He crossed his arms over his chest. I jumped out of bed. My nightdress following behind me. I marched right up to him, inches in front of his face.

"You shouldn't be in here. This is my part of the ship." I huffed, putting my hands on my hips. "Now I don't know who you are, and don't care so…."

"So?" He snickered at me. I tried to think of something to say.

"Honestly I'm about this close to slap you, and-" I looked at him. Those eyes. Those piercing blue eyes. They made me forget all my nightmares, all my troubles.

"And?" He notices me starring at him. "What are you looking at you girl?"

"How dare you talk to me like that." I looked firm into his eyes. "Aren't you that boy? Jeremy Aims?" He looked back at me. His snicker turned into a smile.

"Yeah, and your that girl, the one I fell on. Morrill something."

"Winnie. My name is Winnie."

"Ok, then Ms. Winnie. I'm master Jeremy." He held one of his hands out. I grasped it firmly. "Nice to have meet you. Again."

"Gezz. Your hands, there frozen. Don't you people light fires in your rooms? Here." He took my arm and lead me into the parlor. He took out some of the wood in the bucket, and lighted a fire. He made me sit in a chair. He pulled up a chair, and started to rub his hands together over the fire.

"Why are you in my room?"

"Me, I freeload."

"Freeload?"

"You know… umm. I go into other peoples rooms when their not there. Take a bath, have their scraps."

"Shave."

"Yep. See us people who are less fortunate we have to get by, not like you people who have our kind scrubbing your feet and asses, treating us like dirt."

"Not all of us." I say faintly turning away. "Some of us want to live." I pull my legs into my chest. Jeremy looked at me then at the door.

"I saw your family. Nice bunch. I saw them leave to the tea room. I think I heard your grandmamma say something about a walk on the deck. Your father and brother swimming." He walked over to the door leading to the private deck. I followed him. He leaned over, glancing at the water being sloshed around against the side of the ship.

"Wait, how do you know what my family looks like when you only saw my grandmamma?" His lips made a straight line and his expression went blank. He turned to look at me, then at the sea.

"You have been following me?" He stares at me.

"No… not really. Jack tells me things."

"You know Jack?" I grabbed his arm, then noticing what I was doing let go and walked over to the table (the deck table) and sat down.

"Yeah I know him. He sure is a looker isn't he?"

"Yes he is handsome." I believed with excitement, then I notice Jeremy's face. His piercing blue eyes gave off a hint of envy.

"Yes a man like that can have any girl, women he wants. Besides he is young, and daring for someone of twenty-one."

"He is only twenty-one? Goodness! nine years apart." I cover my mouth quickly.

"Your only twelve?"

"You know arithmetic?" I covered my mouth again feeling idiotic for saying something that was too mean something else.

"I ain't brainless. Well not that brainless for someone who's fourteen."

"That's youn-" Before I could finish I heard the door open from my bed room. I turned quickly to Jeremy. "Their going to find you!" Oh my golly goodness dearest journal I'm was going to be in trouble, enormous trouble.

In addition to the scene that was about to happen, I felt a ping in my heart. Not the painful one, but one of spark feeling.


	5. Chapter 5

**April 14, 12:19 a.m.**

I'm in Neverland! or so it feels like it. Dearest journal, I know if you where alive you doubtlessly would be confused.

However continuing with what happened early: that is how it finished: My parents walked through the door. They walked into the parlor, and saw me out on the boat deck in my night dress. They starred at me.

"Winnie, did you light this fire?" My father looked at me, and gently placed Eddy on the carpet.

"I felt a chill. Is it not acceptable?" My father had a baffled look on his face.

"When one is cold one must warm themselves." He looked at me then turned toward his room. "I'm off to take a nap." My mother looked at me.

"Winnie why are you out on the boat deck? And in your night dress too?" She came walking over towards me. Closer. I turned around. God forsaken my eyes! I saw a flap close, and no Jeremy! I stared at the floor.

"Winnie? Is there something wrong? I do not think a floor can be that interesting."

"No mother, nothing is wrong. Nothing at all."

"Well, in that case your father and I think you should get out of this room. Why don't you go swimming. No ones in the pool. It would be fun. You know water washes away ones worries."

"Very well then mother. I'll go swimming." I gave her a kiss on the cheek, and ran to my room. I threw on my day cloths and packed my swim dress in a suitcase then headed to the pool.

Dearest diary I'm so tickled! It's hard to explain what happened in one day at 12:39 a.m., (20 min past.) but not when something so unexpected happened.

You see dearest journal, when I got to the pool and was changing into my swim dress in one of the booths I heard something…

"Winnie? Miss Winnie? Are you in here?" It was Jeremy. I heard him start hitting the curtains. I started to giggle, then covered my mouth.

"If you wish to speak to me, you must have an appointment."

"I can make one." He hit the curtain of the booth I was in.

"Beg pardon, I'm trying to change into my swim dress." I quickly put the swim dress top over my head.

"All the better."

"Excuse me! Your a dirty little cockroach." I quickly put on the pants, then the dress.

"Pardon me miss, but us fine sophisticated gentleman are not cockroaches, we respect our women."

I pulled the curtain back and came strutting out. "Voila!"

"Wow…" Jeremy muttered from under his breath. I smiled back at him. I pulled the bow out of my hair, and let if fall to my chest. I believed Jeremy blushed when he said this, "Um.. Winnie?"

"Yes?"

"Can I show you something?"

"All right." His eyes fell deep into my brown eyes.

"Good, come with me." He grabbed my arm, and led me into the last changing booth. He opened a latch in the wall.

"That's impossible! Walls can't open!"

He turned, and grinned at me. "They do on the Ship of Dreams."


	6. Chapter 6

**April 14, 1912. 7:19 a.m.**

Sorry dearest journal, I must have fallen asleep while I was writing. I think I was in the middle of explaining Jeremy opening one of the walls in the Turkish baths…

"So that's how you disappeared when my parents showed up."

"Yep! I use the walls and floors. My personal route throughout the ship." He pulled me through, then quickly closed the latch that he opened. "The builders built these passages without the designers knowing it." He grabbed my hand again, and started leading me down the darken passage way.

The passage way was only about four ft tall, so we had to crouch while walking down it. I had to follow behind Jeremy, because the passage wasn't big enough for two people to walk abreast. The walls were damp, with water dripping from the ceiling.

Jeremy explained that the passages where for safety routes leading to the deck in case of emergency. He explained why the builders didn't tell the designers.

"If White Star Line knew about the passageways, or "tunnels" they would destroy them thinking we would abandon ship in an emergency, and leave everyone to die." I stopped, and looked at him. A frightened look came over my face.

I wanted to tell him that my that father worked for White Star Line. I decided not to, because if Jeremy knew he was taking someone down these passages who had connections with White Star Line, he might feel betrayed, and hurt.

"Don't worry, if your frightened that the Titanic might sink, it wont. God can't sink this ship." He smiled at me. I think it was a smile, I can't really tell in the dark.

This is the part dearest journal, when I mentioned I was in Never land…

I felt like Wendy flying with Peter Pan. The ship was our Neverland. Jeremy took me to the boilers, through other first class passenger rooms. We played tricks on his Aunt and on the officers. The last place he took me was the deck.

"That was the most fun I ever had! Ever!" I came tumbling out from the latch from the floor. I ran over to side of the boat, and leaned over. "Air at last!"

I start waving my hand toward my nose, taking in the salty sea air. Two little boys who were by the latch saw us come up, glared at me. I gave them a spiteful look, and they went back to their game of tops.

"Lord Almighty! How long have we been down there? I feel like a fish out of water." He looked at me, his smile faded.

"Beats the rats out of me." Down the deck, Molly Brown was coming towards us with Rose's mother. I turned around, but not quick enough, because Molly saw me, waved and rushed toward me.

"Well look what the cat dragged in. How are you Ms. Winnie?"

"Hello Mrs. Brown, Mrs. DeWitt Buckater." I gave a little curtsy. Jeremy looked at me, then at Molly and Ruth.

"Missus." He gave a quick bow, his cap falling off. Molly gave a laugh and looked at me, "Hey Winnie who's your friend?" She turned to him and gave him one of her southern smiles. "Better watch it sonny, folks won't take kindly to anyone's hat falling of." She picked the hat up, gave it to him. "I like you. You should join us for tomorrows dinner. I hear that Dawson is joining us."

"Speaking of dinner, Ms. Morrill, it's 5:47, and your parents are looking for you." Ruth said interrupting. Then noticing Jeremy, "But looks like you've been found." She gave him a disgusting look like he was a bug and she wanted squish him. Just then, Rose appeared. "Rose there you are. Would you be so kind to escort Ms. Morrill back to her stateroom?"

"Yes mother. Come along Ms. Morrill." Rose grabbed my hand like I was baby, even though I'm five years younger than her. Rose and I talked about the weather and our homes by the lakes. We even got started on a conversation on Jack, but didn't get to finish it.

My parents ran out of the room and hugged me, told me how worry they were about me. Rose just silently left. I didn't know what happened to Jeremy. I was going to say something before Rose escorted me back to my room. I'm afraid what that vicious dog Ruth DeWitt Bukater did to him.

So that was what happened yesterday dearest journal. I got to see the tunnels of the Titanic. Nothing else happened that day, because for my parents worry I had to stay in my room. Eddy got to stay with me. I told him what happened. He didn't know what I was saying, thank goodness.

-Dearest journal, it's 8:19 a.m. and tonight is the dinner party. I'm going to go back to sleep, because I don't have to wake until 10:00. So dearest journal, I wish you a pleasant sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**April 14, 1912. 5:49 p.m.**

Oh my lucky stars! I can't write now! I'm getting ready for the dinner party! Till tonight when I can write about it.

**April, 14, 1912. 11: 10 p.m.**

Oh my lucky stars! It was the grandest party I ever been to! Grandmamma apologetic for being cruel to me bought a pink silk dress. It was cut like the white one, except it had layers of feathers for the bottom. My mother tied some of my hair up in pink and blue jewels, with some pearls in it. The rest of my hair she let fall.

Eddy didn't get to go, because he would get tired.

If only you had eyes dearest diary! The grand stair case was polished to perfection. I looked up to see the dome above. Oh! If I could die this night, I wish to be reborn and see this site again.

The sky was transparent and dark. The stars shown their brightest. They sparkled like a thousand crystals stuck in an vast ocean of darkness. Then that sinking feeling came back.

My neck getting a cramp, I decide to look at the staircase. On the contrary what I saw hurt me. It was Rose. She looked more stunning then ever before. Her in a white diamond gown. She was on Jack's arm. I turned around quickly hoping they wouldn't notice. I think I have to get better at this turning around thing, for they saw me.

"Winnie!" Jack let go of Rose's arm, and trotted down the steps toward me. "Hey. Wow you look… you look charming." Charming, that's all he could say about me. He must think me a mere child.

"Exquisite Ms. Morrill." It was Cale Hockley. He gave my gloved hand a quick kiss. I never really talked to him, but my mother told me he is quite the charmer.

Mrs. DeWitt Bukater said he was in full worship with Rose, and treasured her more then currency. My hero. "Thank you Mr. Hockley." I gave him a curtsey. Rose's mother came behind him.

"You do look exquisite Ms. Morrill. The image of perfection." Ruth alleged with a smirk.

"Like wise Mrs. DeWitt Bukater." I gave her a curtsy as well. Ruth turned toward Rose.

"Glimpse Rose. Ms. Morrill has more sophisticated behavior than you." Turning to me, "Ms. Morrill would you like to be escorted with Mr. Hockley and I into the dinning room? You may be seated with us."

"I would rather like that Mrs. DeWitt Bukater. Thank you kindly ." I smiled at her.

"Well then, come along we must not keep the others waiting for us." Cale spoke, taking Ruth's arm in one hand, and mine in the other.

The party started off grand. The world class musicians form Vienna Austria played waltzes all through the night. I was sitting down watching mother and father spin faster, and faster to the rhythm of the swaying music. I occasionally got a little bored, and started to pick at the feathers on my dress.

While I was picking feathers on my dress, Jack came up to me. "Ms. Morrill. I believe you to owe me a dance." He held out his hand to mine. I looked up into his blue eyes shinning at me. Then I looked past him to see Rose looking at me. She quickly turned away breaking our glance.

"I wish not disturb you and your partner from the length of each other's arms." I turned from him on the chair.

"Winnie. You have been acting secretly. I haven't seen you around lately and-

"That's because there is someone else." I pulled out my fan and start waving it back and forth in front of my face trying to grasp as much cold air as there was. "Is it warm in here or is it just I?"

"So you meet someone. Is it Mr. Aims?" He smiled at me. His eyes twinkling.

"How do you know?"

"I'll tell. Over a dance."

"Oh, alright." He held out his hand, this time I grasped it. Oh dearest journal it was exuberance! Jack turned me this way, and that. We dipped and sashayed.

"Winnie I don't think you should be around Jeremy."

"Oh and why is that?"

"Did he tell you anything, or show you anything? About Titanic?" He dipped me.

"Just the passage areas."

"Winnie don't trust him. He is not who you think he is." I stop suddenly, tripping over his foot. I landed crashing on the floor. Sudden silence. I got up off the floor, and turn around anger in my eyes and face.

"Who are you to tell me who to see and not to. Your not my father! I wish you crawl back into the hole you came from, you and Rose!" I was so confused. All my emotions came out inside me. Exploded to breaking point. I dashed out of the dinning room and on to the deck. Eyes glaring at me as I left.

I don't remember how far I ran, but I did end up at the back of the ship. My eyes wielding up with tears. I looked out into the ocean… it was still as glass. Then the tears fell; becoming one with the water surrounding me. Soon it will be come rain, then pour on my face again.

I thought about jumping over. Mother always says water washes away worries. Mother. Just then I remember all the times she ignored me through more then half my life. I looked down at my hands and saw the bracelet she gave me. I haven't taken it off since she gave it to me.

I ripped it from my wrist accidentally cutting myself in the process. The blood dripped from my wrist and onto the floor of the polished deck. I held it out over the railing, watching it fall.

"Winnie is that you?"

"Jeremy?" I turned around noticing he was right behind me. "How did you-"

"The passages." He shrugged. Then he looked down, and noticed me holding my bracelet with my wrist bleeding. "Damn Winnie. What did you do?" I quickly pulled my wrist behind me.

"Nothing really, I just cut it."

"Cut it, more like slit it open. Here let me see it." He grabbed my hand gently and started to examine it. He pulled out a pocket knife and cut a piece of his shirt. He tied the cloth around my wrist. Just then Lulu came rushing right beside me from somewhere.

"Ms Winnie, Ma Winnie." She pulled me into a bear hug. I couldn't breath because my face was squashed into her chest. She pulled me out and started shaking me. "Why in God's name did you run out of the party. Scaring everyone to their grave. Why I ought t- what happened to your wrist child?" She grabbed my wrist. "We better take you back to the room so we can telegram a doctor. Say goodbye to your friend." She started walking a ways. "Come on Winnie we haven't got all night. And besides I don't like it out here. Can't see nothing but stars." With that she walked through the doors, disappearing into the hallway. I turned to Jeremy. I didn't want to tell him what Jack said.

"I better go. I caused to much trouble already. My mother probably has a nose bleed by now. Goodnight." I turned around to leave but felt a hand on my arm. Jeremy pulled me into a hug. The next thing what happened surprised me.

His lips were on my mine. I wanted to pull away, but my heart said, "Stay….Stay." I quickly pulled away putting my hand to my lips. My face blushing horribly. "Goodnight" I staggered back and forth like a drunken man.

Jeremy called out, "Goodnight Ms. Winifred Morrill. Happy Dreams." I turned around to wave goodbye. But when I did, he was gone. He must have left through the passages.

OH Dearest journal! I don't remember what happened after, nor do I care. I'm on the Ship of dreams, and anything is possible….Opps look at the time 11:40 p.m. I must go to bed. Good nig- what was that!


	8. Chapter 8

**April 14, 1912. 11: 32 p.m.**

Argh. I fell of the bed. I think we might have hit something if there was a lurch that big! I'm going out to hallway to figure it out.

**April 14, 1912. 11:43 p.m.**

That's odd, there were a lot of people out in the hallway. A bellhop came by telling people it was all right and not to panic. He past by me. ""Excuse me sir what has happened?" He turned to me and placed a gloved hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry little Miss. Titanic must have put on a break. Go back in your bed and get some sleep. All will be well. I'll bring up a nice cup of tea in the morning how is that? " He gave me a wink.

"Thank you sir." My parents past through the door. Father went to go find the bellhop that just passed by. Mother turned around towards me.

"Winnie darling what was that all about?"

"Most nothing. Titanic put a break on."

"Oh, ok then. I'm going back to bed." She gave me a kiss and picked up Eddy, (who was still asleep. Agatha, and Libby where down in the kitchen helping cook). She took Eddy back to her room.

I went out on our deck. I slipped on something. I picked it up. It was clear, and frozen?

"Ice?" I looked around and saw chunks of ice all over the deck. "What in the world?" All of a sudden I heard a flap close beside me. I leaped away.

"Jeremy? You scared the dickens out of me!"

"Winnie, we hit an iceberg. Massive one. Starboard side."

"That explains all the ice." I looked alarm. "We hit an iceberg!"

"Shhh. Calm down. Look I think it's nothing. I just wanted to tell you. Go back to sleep." He smiled at me and gave me a hug. "Ok?"

"Alright. Goodnight." He opened the latch and went back to the passage ways. I walked back to my bed, and laid my head down on my pillow. I looked down at my bracelet. The one mother gave me. I picked it up, and put it on my other wrist. (The one that wasn't slit.) -And now dear journal, I'm going to bed. Today has been a long day, and I'm tired. Tomorrow I will start a new life. But I can't help this weird sinking feeling in my stomach.

**April 15, 1912. 1:20 a.m.**

Can't write now dearest journal! I have to get dress, and put my life vest on. I'll write later today when this mess is over. Mother is calling me!


	9. Chapter 9

SHIP OF DREAMS: PART 2


	10. Chapter 10

Introduction: 30 years later

1942. England is fighting in the war against Germany. Winfred Morrill, now age 42, and known as Mrs. Weldon, reads about the Nazi invasion in Poland. She sits at home wondering if her husband John is seeing action on the battle field. A sudden knock bangs heavily on her door.

"Come in." She says taking off her reading glasses and placing them on a cherry-wood coffee table that once belonged to her grandmother. A delivery man comes walking through the door and hands her a letter.

"Miss." He nods his head toward her then walks out the door slamming it on his way out.

"What is it mamma?" Her daughter Jane asks, walking over from the doll house she was playing with.

"It's from your grandma. Let us open it and see." She rips the envelope gently, fearing she would accidentally rip the letter instead.

**My Dearest Winnie,**

**A great sickness has come over our house. Servants have fallen ill, and are dead. I can't figure out the cause to it. The doctors can find no antidote. I myself have fallen ill. Edward had arrived yesterday bringing his family. I wish to burn the house, and all that remains inside. Please come if you wish to claim any items. I will burn the house on April 15, 1942 . At 2:20 a.m. in honor of your father. Please call. **

**Forever yours,**

**Your loving mother Alexandria Corte Fairfield Morrill. **

Winnie brushed the tears away forming in her eyes. The last place in the world she wanted to go to was her home in Southampton. The place where she had spent her most happiest of all days.

Winnie arrived one hour later at her mother's house, with her daughter Jane. Her blond curls bouncing as she ran up the stairs to see her grandmother. Winnie putting her coat on a coat hanger smiling at her daughter.

"Jane, slow down or you'll fall down those stairs." Falling. She had felt that feeling before, but blocked it from her memory.

"Is that my older sister." A familiar voice assumed coming from the parlor. Winnie turning to a mirror bedside the coat hanger fixed her bangs falling into her eyes. Clutching her beaded purse, she made her way into the parlor.

"Edward." She dashed toward her brother, gathering her in his arms.

"Is she alright?"

"Oh, mother. You know she can fight anything." He walked over to a small end table, picked up a cigarette and pulled out a lighter from he is left breast pocket. "Want a smoke."

"No thank you."

"You can go see her." Lighting it. "She wants you to." He lets out a puff of smoke.

"I am going to." She stares at her brother with a long glance as he sits down in a arm chair by the fireplace smoking a cigarette. He was nothing like the old porker she remembered him to be.

After Titanic he became cheerless and short tempered. He began to drink at age fifteen, and came home with bruises. He began taking drugs, and was dictated to gambling. He even used a large amount of his wealth and bought a gambling boat.

Now, Winnie can't imagine seeing the man he has become before her own eyes. His orange hair slicked back, with a derby cap on top of his head with an ace card sticking out the side. Bags under his eyes from restless nights of sleep. He was thin, very thin. So thin in fact he could fit through a toilet bowl lid. So very different from his sister.

Winnie put on a little weight after WW1. Her hair became a dull brown with some gray in it. Her eyes still had some twinkle in them, but are now ever fading. She had bags under her eyes from the dreams that haunted her. No one could read her expression, because it was always blank. And no one absolutely no one could commit to memory, when she was ever happy. Her brother noticed her staring.

"What are you looking at? If you want to go see Mum, then go to her." Winnie rolling her eyes walked out of the parlor and up the stairs toward her mother's room. She sometimes occasionally glanced over at the familiar rooms that where once full of happiness.

She past be Edward's room, that now was storage once again. The brilliant paint that once reflected dreams was peeling down the gray wall. She walked into the room turned around slowly trying to grasp that moment of happiness when she last stood in the room. She then faced the window that was once a lovely scene. It was now broken, some shattered pieces lay on the floor. Servants never bothering to pick them up.

She closed her eyes searching… searching. Opening them, it was like stepping back in time. She saw the shatter pieces fly up back toward the window. It began to become whole again, and looked new. She saw the paper peeling up into the astonishing merles they once where. The pram, the rocking horse appeared. Then she saw…. Herself?

It was her. At age twelve. 30 years ago. She was dressed in one of her mother's fanciest gowns. A big grin on her face. "I must be going insane. I finally cracked." She gulped. She turned around to leave the room when she heard a little voice, thin but clear.

"Winnie? Me boat?" She turned around quickly on her heels (She has gotten better at that). There standing right in front of her was Eddy. When he was a porker.

"Yes Eddy. A large boat. A ship. The SHIP OF DREAMS." The young Winnie jumped off the bed (the one that once belonged to Lulu) and grabbed her brother by the arms. "And us… the very essence of the dream. It will take us to America, the land of the free. And I… we'll meet the lady liberty herself." Then she started to qoute one of her poems:

**On This Wondrous Sea **

**On this wondrous sea**

**Sailing silently, **

**Ho! Pilot, ho! **

**Knowest thou the shore **

**Where no breakers roar -- **

**Where the storm is o'er? **

**In the peaceful west **

**Many the sails at rest -- **

**The anchors fast --**

**Thither I pilot thee -- **

**Land Ho! Eternity!**

**Ashore at last!**

(By Emily Dickinson)

Winnie not believing what she was seeing gave a shriek. Then if on queue, the memory came crashing down, and everything went back to the way it did when she entered the room.

"I do so hate when that happens. A happy memory slips away from one's grasp when you want so much in the world to keep it. Fate is a harsh thing."

Winnie turned around and saw before her a women in a wheel chair. Her long gray silvery hair flowing down her sides. She was fragile. Like a doll. One drop and you would brake it forever. The women was tiny. Her hands and feet curved and crumpled. Her face sagging, the skin loose. Her two different color eyes where kind and shinning. Hope. That was what was left in them.

"Mother?"

"Hello Winifred. About time you came. Jane, and her cousin are playing in my room." She pointed a bony finger towards her door. "In there." She gave a shrug. "Don't be shy, give your poor mother a hug." Winnie walked over to the women, or now she found out her mother and gave her a hug. "There we are, a nice hug. Very nice." Then she looked down at her hands. "They were once beautiful strong hands. Beautiful strong hands." Her mother had tears forming in her eyes. "I should have held on tighter." Tears began falling down her cheeks. One by one the tears slide into her mouth. "We can never choose our destiny, for destiny chooses the person."

"Mother? I don't under-"

"Your father always said that. He always told me. Now he can tell me again. George is coming for me, you will see he is coming to get me. Then will be together." That moment a nurse came running down the hall.

"Mrs. Morrill, Mrs. Morrill. There you are. The doctor said not to get out of bed you knotty women." Winnie's mother turned to the nurse.

"Betty have you meet my daughter Winnie? She's a good girl." She patted her daughters arm.

"I bet she is Mrs. Morrill, but we have to go back to bed now. Doctors orders."

"Damn doctors orders I'm fine." She began waving her hands in the air.

"I bet you are. Now, come along bed time." The nurse grabbed the wheel chair and started wheeling Winnie's mother back to her room. She turned around, "Goodnight Winnie, I love you! See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Mother. Sweet dreams." Winnie walked back downstairs and started looking for things she could take back with her so they wouldn't be destroyed when the house was burned. Which wasn't that soon.

Winnie's mother died the night before. Edward, her, and what was left of the servants left Mrs. Morrill's body to burn with the rest of the house. Winnie watched as the flames consumed the house, unlike her brother. She watched as her happiness was to disappear forever.

Hours after the burning, Winnie decided to look through the remains to see what was left. (Her daughter went with Edward, and his family back to his home in London.) When Winnie finally decided everything was lost… she stepped on something.

She picked it up, and whipped off the dust and ashes covering it. As the dust and ashes fell to the ground she started scrapping off a red substance. Rust? When she finally uncovered it she gave a gasp, and dropped it. Thud. The object opened.

"Could it be…? So many years?" She clasped a hand to her mouth, and slowly picked it up. "Oh my lucky stars!" She started flipping through the pages, of indeed her journal. When she had gotten to the last entry something shiny, but rusted fell on her lap. "Oh my heavens! My bracelet!" Tears came. "Oh my… how, why?" Her mother's words came back into her head.

"We can never choose destiny, for destiny chooses the person." She remembered now. All of it. Her life, in her hands, waiting…. Waiting to be finished.


	11. Chapter 11

Winnie, taking her journal under her arm, walks over to the remains of what use to be a couch. Sitting down, she furiously digs in her purse. Finding a pen she is satisfied. She opens to her last entry rereads, then turns to the next page.

**APIRL 15, 1942.**

Oh dear… dearest journal, it feels wonderful to be writing in you a long last. I thought I lost you when the ship… no must not give it away yet. If there was ever something I learned in boarding school, it was great writers never jumped into there endings to quickly.

I'm old, and have gray hair in every place. Except I feel so young when writing in you. Well. Enough of the is stuff. I had one purpose in writing in you, and that is to finish my life story. The truth. Not to confuse you, I shall start where I left off. April 14, 1912. The night when my family, and I went to "A" deck. The start of my new life………..


	12. Chapter 12

**April 1912**

"Winnie!" Jack ran toward me with Rose right behind him. He almost ran right into me, but luckily his shoes caught friction.

"Jack, Rose?" Jack grabbed my arm, and dragged me to a corner by the grand staircase.

"Owh! That hurt! What is the meaning of this? If this is about Rose, I'm sor-"

"Shut up for once Winnie! This isn't a silly girl fantasy this is serious." I stared at her. Never has Rose talked like this to me. Jack was just as surprised as I was.

"We ain't got time for arguing. Not me, and certainly the both of you. Winnie!" Grabbing my shoulders he looked me square in the eye. "Listen that lurch we felt, we-

"I know, I know. We hit an iceberg. Jeremy told me."

"He did? Winnie you shouldn't really start with hi-"

"Jack!" Rose squealed tugging his shirt.

"Oh, right. Winnie." He picked up my hand. "We just talked to Mr. Andrews. He said…. He said…" I stared at him, waiting for him to get on with it.

"He said Titanic wasn't built to have so much pressure build up on the compartments." Rose blurted. She and Jack both looked at each other, then at me. Suddenly I understood at once. Titanic the Unsinkable Ship, thee Ship of Dreams, the one God couldn't sink himself… was indeed going to sink into the depths of the ocean.

Tears began forming in my eyes. It's unbreakable to consider that Titanic, only a float for five days, less then a week on the ocean, was going to go under. Ship of Dreams, the one thing in my life I was looking forward to go on to. My dreams where going to go down with this ship. Meeting lady liberty, getting away from my family. Starting a new life.

On the contrary the most unbearable thing is the lack of life boats on the ship. All those souls. More then half, going to give up the ghost. Them, going to finally meet their creator at long last. A precious waste of life.

It's hard for me to think about those people. Some of them never going to finish their life! I wonder what is in store for myself….


	13. Chapter 13

"Winnie?" Rose tapped me on the shoulder. She turned to Jack. "I think she went into her one of her trances again." I looked up at her.

CRECK!

People lost balance, and fell over each other. Little children slide on their sides. A panic came over the passengers. Everyone started running towards the deck, hoping to find a lifeboat.

"So it has begun." Jack looked around looking at the people scramble and knocking one another over.

"Their animals!" Rose gasped.

"We got to get you two to a lifeboat. Come on." Grabbing both Rose's and my hand he rushed us on to the deck. I couldn't believe the sounds I was hearing. It sounded like the nightmares I had. People were screaming, officers where yelling orders and telling people to wait their turn to get into a life boat.

"WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST! WOMEN AND CHILDREN!" I saw grandmamma, and Lulu with Eddy climb into one of the lifeboats.

Then I saw mother. She was like the wild women I saw her when I first arrived home. Her hair was coming out of her tight bun. She had a strong grip around my father's neck. An officer was trying to pry her from him. Tears flooding down her face, screaming, and laughing madly, "No… no! I won't leave you! Not till death do us part, never!" It took two officers to pry my mother away from my father. She started punching and clawing at them.

An officer grabbed her by the stomach (the same position as if you where going to do the Heimlich on someone). They dragged her toward the boat, then threw her in. Her face hit the hardwood of the life boat making her mouth bleed and nose.

My mother creating quite the commotion, made people make a clearing. "That's the last one, lower the lifeboat!" An officer blew a whistle. The crewmen began lowering the lifeboat. My father ran to the edge of the ship and held out his hands to my mother. My mother tried grasping them but only touched some flesh. I broke from Jack's grasp.

"Winnie! My Winnie!" Her voice cracking. She looked up at me, tears flowing from her puffy red eyes. I could never forget that face. Blood coming out of her nose, and the corner of her mouth. Her eyes wide with fear but happiness at the same time. She reached for me. I only could touch her finger tips, for the boat was getting lower, and lower to the ocean.

She started blowing kisses at me and was screaming at the top of her lungs, "I'M SORRY WINNIE! I'M SO SORRY MY DEAREST LITTLE GIRL! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!"

That was the last time I thought I would ever see her again. The boat crashed into the ocean and went away from view.

As my father and I watched as my mother and the rest of my family drifted further, and further away from the ship, my father turned to me, tears falling down his cheeks. It's heart breaking when you see your father cry. Out of his pocket he took out my bracelet. He put it around my wrist.

"Don't forget…. Where you come from. And how much your mother and I love." He gave me a hug, then a kiss on the head. With that he did a summersault into the ocean depths below. Full of confusion I looked over the side. The tears came.

"FATHER, FATHER!" I screeched at the top of my lungs. My voice cracking with every squeal.

Later I found out that my father jumped into the ocean to reach my mother. He never made it. The water was freezing that night. "The water hits you like a thousand knifes." Jack told me once. "You can not think of anything but the pain."

Speaking of Jack, he and Rose had other issues of their own. I was thinking of jumping over the ship myself thinking I could have a chance at reaching my mother; a hand grabbed my arm.


	14. Chapter 14

"Winnie, don't jump."

"Jeremy!" I turned around and hugged him with all my might. I dug my face into his shirt. "Their gone, Jeremy their gone! Mother, father, Eddy. I'm all alone, I'm all alone, and unloved."

"Don't say that Winnie. You don't know that. I know your loved. I have been watching you. You're the luckiest person in the world. A family that loves you." The quartet from Austria came behind us and began playing a romantic melody from the 17th century.

CREACK! SNAP! 

At this point of my life dearest journal, everything happened in a blur. I will give it my best attempt to describe it as best I could, even though I know it crystal clear as if it happened yesterday.

THE ELECTRICITY WENT OUT! TWENTY OR SO MINUTES LEFT BEFORE TITANIC IS ON IT KNEES FOR MERCY FROM THE SEA…….


	15. Chapter 15

"We got to get you to a lifeboat. Fast! The ship's going to break in half like a match stick, in about seventeen minutes I reckon. COME ON!" He grabbed me by the hand.

Swiftly we ran by people screaming earsplitting screeches. A preacher was reciting EFFICACIOS NOVENA SACRED HEART OF JESUS:

"O, sacred heart of Jesus, for whom it is impossible not to have compassion on the afflicted, have pity on us sinners…"

We ran past him in a blur and headed toward the end of the ship where the last life boat was. The last one…

BANG!

I hit the deck solid, tripping over a chunk of ice.

"Bloody ice." Jeremy who was a few meters ahead of me, turned and rushed toward me.

"Winnie, are you ok?" Concern on his face holding out his hand.

"Yes I think I am." He grabbed my waist, and pulled me up.

"Owh! My ankle, I think I twisted it." I lifted up my skirt (the same dress I wore when I boarded the ship) and sure enough my ankle was black and blue. "What am I to do?"

"Well you can't get anywhere with an ankle like that, and we ain't got time so…" Picking me up, he carried me through the rivers of people, down steps, and hanging on to the railing as the ship started to tip backwards.

"There! Just a little ways is the life boat!"

"I see it, I see it." He ran toward the life boat, even tripping a little ways, but he go me there.

"Hurry, hurry! We ain't got all damn night!" The officer yelled waving his arm furiously as we drew closer.

"Watch out, she is hurt." Jeremy warned the officer as he handed me into the officer's arms.

"Don't worry she is in noble care." At that moment there was a immense whimper from the ship. "WE GOT TO GO! THE SHIP IS GOING TO PART." The officer gently but swiftly placed me in the bottom of the lifeboat. The two older women beside me started fussing, and placed a blanket on top of me.

I looked up at Jeremy still on the boat deck, smiling at me. The officer turned to him. "Are you coming then? If I was you and had brains I would." Jeremy just grinned at the man, and me. "No, sir I reckon I won't."

"Jeremy, Jeremy?" I gaped at him, and the tears that had almost dried up, came again.

"Don't be stupid boy-o get in the damn boat."

"No, sir I refuse to." Crossing his arms he kept smiling at the officer and me.

"I said get in the boat." The officer grabbed him by the arm. Jeremy turned and swung at the man, giving him a good lick in the nose. The officer put a hand to his nose then looked at the blood on his fingers.

"The hell with you then. You can be damned." The officer blew a whistle, and a man lowered the crank. I bolted upward from my laying position on the boat's bottom.

Now matter what the cost of standing on my sprained ankle, I had will power and faith wash over me. Jeremy leaned over, and gave me a kiss as the ship began to lower, and lower. When we where not in kissing range, he held at his hand. My hands barley touching the tips of his.

"I LOVE YOU WINNIFRED MORRILL!"

"AND I LOVE YOU AS WELL JEREMY AIMS." The life boat was lowering slowly. It got jammed for a couple of minutes.

"IT WAS MANY AND MANY A YEAR AGO,

IN A KINGDOM ON THE SEA,

THAT A MAIDEN THERE LIVED WHOM YOU MAY KNOW,

BY THE NAME OF WINNIE;

AND THIS MAIDEN SHE LIVED WITH NO OTHER THOUGHT

THAN TO LOVE AND BE LOVED BY ME.

I WAS A CHILD AND SHE WAS CHILD,

IN THIS KINGDOM ON THE SEA,

BUT WE LOVED WITH A LOVE MORE THEN LOVE,

I AND MY WINNIE;

WITH A LOVE THAT WINGED SERAPHS OF HEAVEN

COVERTED HER AND ME.

AND THIS REASON THAT, LONG AGO,

IN THIS KINGDOM ON THE SEA

A WIND BLEW OUT OF A CLOUD, CHILLING

MY BEAUTIFUL WINNIE."

The officers fixed the boat, and it began to lower it again. It didn't matter to me, because it was like all the sounds of the world stopped. And I was to wrapped up in Jeremy's piercing blue eyes to notice. He smiled at me, tears rolling down his face.

"Till we meet again Winnie Morrill… till we meet again." The lifeboat hit the water with a smack, freezing water hitting me like a thousand knifes. Jack was right about one thing.

Jack, Rose! What happened to them. A bunch of thoughts, and images began flooding through my mind.

My sprained ankle, that couldn't take the weight anymore, gave in. I fell to the boat's bottom hard. My head smashing against the side. I looked up and saw Jeremy's face in a blur, and the stars, shining brilliantly up in the sky. My lids began to get heavier, and heavier. Black spots appeared before my eyes…


	16. Chapter 16

I awoke up in some of the strangest scenes. There were seabirds flying in the sky above me, and water all around me. The air full of salt. My ankle was bandaged, and I was laying on a bench next to the two elderly women who had sat next to me on the lifeboat.

"'Bout time you gotten up little one. Thought you was dead. However doctors said you were only asleep. Asleep for four days to be corrected." A wrinkly face with huge brown eyes stuck her face into mine.

"Three days and a half Marge. Ye can see it under her eyes. See" She pointed to my eyes, which according to her had three black circles and a half. I raised my upper torso to get a better look.

"Where… where am I?"

"Oh my poor girl! Alice," The other elderly women, who was Marge looked sorrowfully at her. "She can't remember what happened!"

"Well that's a good relief to her."

"Maybe we should tell the poor girl."

"Marge…"

"Oh my girl the TITANIC! Gone! Sank around 2:20 a.m. on the 15th. Split in half it did with a groan and a splitting shirk. People sliding down the deck, people falling off the ship. Some even thrown like rag dolls against the propellers. Poignant thing it is…"

"Who are you my dear?" Alice said interrupting. I looked up at her tears in my eyes.

"Winifred Morrill. I think."

"A MORRILL!"

"Can you please tell me where I am?"

"Your on the Olympia. Sister Ship of the Titanic. They came to revive us… well the rest of us that is. So many people. Never finished their lives. You count your blessings you were unconscious when we went to go see what was left. One ship had to go back and it was ours. Frozen. All of them. The whites of there eyes staring up at you. Reaching up for help. I reckon they'll be like that for all time. Frozen and trapped in their watery graves."

"Marge, your scaring her. We pulled seven out of the water."

"That's seven out of 700, Alice."

"Oh I know, but luckily we did rescue some. They took them to the lower deck." I got up, and surprisingly had strength. I headed toward some stairs that lead to the lower deck was. "Where she is going?"

"Maybe we said something?"


	17. Chapter 17

There were many people down on this part of the deck, some mostly steerage. I walked down and back the deck seven or eight times, looking for my mother. I didn't see her. Then, around my ninth time I saw my brother, with my… MOTHER! OH MY LUCKY STARS! I waved furiously at her, and she looked up at me. But… She only looked through me.

I didn't understand why she could not see me dearest journal, but you see, she saw me threw her eyes everyday she thought I was dead.

I dashed to where she was sitting. I threw my arms around her and wept. I wept till I could have actually die right there on the spot. My mother only put her hands over her eyes bawling, "My Winnie is dead! As dead as that damn ship!" She started rocking back and forth. Eddy, and Lulu just stared, not knowing what to think.

I pulled my mother's hair back, and kissed each of her brow. "Mother it's me it's really ME!"

"No, my Winnie is dead." I giving up, sat back and wept. Tears falling into my open mouth. I wiped my eyes with my wrist, only scratching my cheek with… my bracelet!

I grabbed my mothers wrist, and hooked the two hearts together. The description read, "TWO HEARTS BECOME ONE…"

My mother tried pulling her wrist back, but couldn't, because the bracelet held fast. She stared at her hand cuff for a second, then touched the cold metal. Her eyes welding up with tears. She brought her opposite hand to her mouth, and started rocking back and forth.

"Winnie?" She stared at me.

"Yes Mother…" I squeaked.

"Hahaha." She lunged for me, and held my tightly. I didn't care, she could hold me in her arms forever. She started kissing me over, and over again. She stroked my hair. "Oh my Winnie. My dearest. I'm so sorry. So sorry."

"No mother, I should be the sorry one."

"Oh, no, no you shouldn't, you shouldn't be force to grow up."

"But mother, I already have." She hugged me even tighter. "Lulu, Eddy, LOOK IT'S WINNIE!"

I can't remember how many times I was hugged that night, or how many times I was kissed. But I wasn't alone, and not unloved.

I went for a walk well everyone else was at dinner. I was alone, and went to the front of the ship. I looked down into the water, as the ship Olympia went cutting through the waves. I remember the first time I saw Titanic cut through the waves, I was happy then.

"Winnie… Winnie is that you?" I turned around, and there was Rose. I ran smack right into her. And dearest journal, I cried again.

"Oh Winnie, I'm so sorry." She brushed my cheek.

"No, I'm the one that's sorry Rose. I spoiled Jack's and your romance. I let my jealousy get in the way."

"So did I. I was jealous of you." She giggled.

"What? How is that funny."

"It's ironic. How two people could love someone so much, and never end up with the one person they were dying to be with." She turned away from me. I could tell she was crying by the tone of her voice, when she said, "Dying…"

"Jack never made it did he." I looked back at the sea.

"Life is a cruel thing Winnie, and it will always be that way. No matter how you want to change it." She walked toward me, and gave me another hug. "Jack did say to tell you, that he loved you for your innocence's, and that if he lived, you can go live with him… with me."

"What about Cale?"

"I wouldn't marry him if he was the last man on earth, the bastard."

"I saw him when I woke up, it looked like he was looking for you. Your mother was in tears."

"Winnie." She grabbed me by the shoulders. "I'm free now, free from them. Please… please do me the favor of not telling them I'm on the ship."

"Alright Rose, I will." She squealed with delight, and squeezed me again. "Thank you so much. I owe my life to you. Can I do anything in return?"

"No the- wait, actually there is. Do you know if a boy named Jeremy Aims survived?" I looked up at her, my eyes full of hope.

"No Winnie, I dare say I have haven't ." She gave a me a kiss on the cheek as tears fell again. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. I have my own things to cope with." She gave me another kiss, on the head this time, and left me on the deck.

I turned back toward the ocean. The sun was setting now, almost darkness. The yellow and orange twilight out shinning the blue- purple mixed together. Oh, dearest journal, it was sad looking out at the ocean. My sorrow washed over me again.

I figured something out dearest journal. I have grown. I found that I am a cowered, but has strength, a lover, and someone full of innocence. Practically somebody else that I have never known before, someone I'm afraid to be.

Deep in thought, I saw something that looked like it was glowing in the twilight. It was wedged in between a split in the wood of a bench. Out of curiosity, I went and pulled it out.


	18. Chapter 18

It was a newspaper from two years ago. When the Titanic was being built in the dock. The paper was golden, and crumply under my fingers. It felt like skin. I couldn't read anything but one article.

SHIP BUILDING MASSACRE CAUSES FUGITIVE TO RUN (1910) 

Minimum wage causes massacre to break out among workers. Seems that one of the Presidents of White Star Line promised a great amount of sum to a worker if he does a certain job. This act ignited a fuse! Two workers by the name James Amstar, and T.J Miller started to fight. However as physical contact broke out, hammers became weapons. More and more workers were drawn into the fight! In the end, it was blood. Five people were murdered. Mr. Amstar was charged with all five murders, and is to be executed- if he is caught! Rumor had it, that he changed his name, and is fleeing the country. However know one knows where, or what his name is. They even said he changed his appearance!

No wonder Jack told me to stay away from Jeremy. He found out that he was this murder. Jack didn't want to see me get hurt. It didn't make sense. However in a mad way it did. Why would a murder take his life for mine? Was it that he really loved me? Mother always told me love has a funny way of happening. "When you least expect it. For the people we love, are not always those we expect them to be."

I put the clues together dearest journal. I'm not going to tell. Not even you. If anyone ever reads this, they have to figure it out by themselves.

It has grown dark now. And I'm looking at the brightest star in the sky. There are tons of them, stuck up there. Forever. But I was still drawn to the brightest one.

"Thank you Jeremy. Thank you for saving me, and from myself."


	19. Chapter 19

We docked in New York, America on April 26th 1912.

There was a great commotion when we docked. Everyone wanted to know everyone's story. For me I was glad I was on dry land again; even though I threw up seven times.

"There she is Winnie, and Eddy. Thee lady. Lady Liberty." My mother holding Eddy pointed her out. She murmured under her breath. "If only your father where here to see it."

"She is beautiful mother. Hello there Lady Liberty!" I waved to her. The lady stood tall and proud. Her hair down with a crown, and a torch to a light someone's way. A grin on her face showing how proud she was. No wonder America loved her.

"Ady Lib." Eddy flopped his arm up and down. An officer taking names of survivors came toward us.

"Can I get your name loves?"

"I'm Alexandria Morrill, ah Mary for short. This is my son Edward Frances Morrill the 2nd , and this is Winifred Morrill, my daughter." She put her arm around me.

"Thank you very much Madame. You will find a health clinic and hotel this way." He pointed to taxi's heading towards where ever. "If I you want to know where the taxi's are heading, there heading toward Time Square."

"Thank you." My mother gave him a slight nod with her head. I gave him a curtsy.

"My pleasure Madame." He tipped his hat.

"Well we should get going then. I'm ready for a hot meal. Time to get on with our lives." Grandmamma said heading toward the taxi's. I wasn't really happy when I saw her on the Olympia. I'm relieved though, that she survived.

We arrived at the hotel, and relaxed. But who could really when you just survived an unexpected disaster. We told stories to keep our minds off it. The subject kept coming back. We told how we escaped, and how we would deal with our feelings. I read my journal aloud. All the way up until the tragedy.

My mother laughed about the worm in the privy, and Lulu and Agatha running into each other. Grandmamma sculled me about Jeremy. After all this she still cares about proper etiquette.

We stayed in the hotel for a couple of months, just till we were back on our toes. (Which could never happen.) All of us went sight seeing (what was rest of my family) of all the places we could see in New, York.

When we got bored and thought we saw every inch of New York, (even though I thought the subway was the best part) we decided to travel across America.

I saw the beautiful leaves of Vermont, I rode horses on the sandy beaches of Florida, and again in California. I rode in a plane from South Nebraska to Kansas. I saw the beauty of Niagara Falls. (Even though it made some of us heartrending.)

I saw every inch of America, and was glad America beat us British. If they haven't then I wouldn't be able to see such wonders.

Grandmamma, and mother told us we had to leave back for Southampton. "We have been gone from our home to long." They alleged us.

We went home on Ship. Everyone, including me was paranoid. I just stayed huddled in the corner of the trip the whole time.

The year is 1913, and I'm thirteen now! And when we arrived back at Southampton, it looked so very different. My house seemed like it was frozen in time. I passed by the rooms, seeing all the happiness that once filled them. I stopped at one certain room though. My fathers. (My parents had separate rooms.)

The door squeaked open. I used to love that sound when I was little. When my father would read in bed, I would open the door in a crack. The door obviously squeaking.

"Is that my Squeaker?" He would say dropping his book in his lap. I would run in, and jump on his bed begging him to read to me.

He would pretend to read from the book he was reading, even though it wasn't the real story.

I felt my hand touch the four poster bed; feeling the smooth mahogany wood under my finger tips. I laid down on the bed and fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

By now dearest journal, your probably wondering what happened to everyone. Of coarse. Well, where to start…

George Morrill- (My father. 1873- 1912) As I have mentioned he died while swimming to my mother on the night of April 15, 1912 around two in the morning. He never did make it sadly.

Jeremy Aims (More Corrected James Amstar)- (1898-1912) I never knew much about him, save for that he was a murder. He never told me anything about his family, except he told me he stayed with his aunt (who unfortunately perished). My heart was struck to a million pieces after I found out he died. I thought I could never love again…

Cale Hockley- (1882- 1915) He inherited his millions from his parents. He married a women named Elizabeth King. She was very greedy for money, but some how Cale fell in love with her, forgetting about Rose. During WW1 he went crazed, or so I heard. He pulled a bullet to his head.

Ruth DeWitt Bukater- (1861- 1922) After Titanic Ruth was disturb that she couldn't find her daughter Rose. Her story is depressing. She lost everything. Her daughter, her house, and was forced to sell her things at actuation. She worked as a laundress from 1914-1921. She died one year later in a health institute at the age of 61.

Fabrizio De Rossi- (1890- 1912) I never talked to him much. Mostly said "Hello" and nodded to him. He did became friends with my brother though. He would sneak an make funny faces on the deck, when my parents were not watching Eddy. He fell unfortunately off the ship.

Margaret "Molly" Brown- (1867- 1932) She became known as the "Unsinkable Molly Brown." She gave hope to the people in lifeboat #6. When the commander of the ship thought the lifeboat was going to be sucked under with Titanic, Molly told the women, "Come on Ladies! Grab an oar!" They rowed to safety. Molly Brown survived two more ship disasters, and a fire in a hotel in Florida. She gave her ghost on Oct. 25.

Rose De Witt Bukater- (1895- ?) When she got off the Titanic, she took her last name as, "Dawson." She is now a famous actress. I have seen her in countless plays. We took tea often together, but a time slowed down, so did our visits. She told me her dreams; to ride like a man, and spit like a man. She also wanted to fly an airplane. She accomplished those dreams. I have forgiven her, and she has forgiven me of both our jealousy. I never told anyone the promise I made to her.

Jack Dawson- (1891- 1912) Rose told me that Jack froze in the water. His statement came true. "The water hits you like a thousand knifes, you can't think anything but the pain." I had to admit that I fell in love with him. I was devastated when I found out he died. But I forgive him, and I know in his heart he for gave me. He saved me dearest journal, he did.

Grandmamma- (1848-1919) "She always cared about etiquette." Grandmamma died, because of the cancer of the breasts. She was 71 years old. Doctors said she would have died a few months after Titanic, but she proved people wrong. And I was wrong; my grandmamma had a strong will, and would fight. The last words she said to me where, "I love you Winifred, Winnie." She never scolded me when she whispered it to me.

Edward- ( 1910- ?) I believe I all ready described Eddy. Him drinking and all. He took over my dad's position when he was sixteen. In 1938 he married Mary Streamer. They have two children, and live in London.

Servants- Mostly all of them died, because of the illness that fallen over our house. Lulu was one of them. She died at age 59. Agatha, and Libby never made it out of the kitchen on April 15, 1912.

Alexandria Morrill- (1871- 1942) Her "nickname" being Mary, (I don't know how you can get Mary out of Alexandria; so don't ask me dearest journal) herself had fallen ill. Which later we found out the cause, and it was gas leakage of something that had made everyone ill. She told me she loved me all the time, and called three times a day at my house in London. When she was burned with the rest of the house, she still wore the other half of the bracelet. She never took it off.

As for me dearest journal, I went through a lot of depression in my life. After Titanic, before my grandmamma died, she would always put pearls in my hair. "Your our survival to our family Winifred. You shall catch a rich suitors eye."

Which fortunately I did. That's how I met my husband John Weldon. It was how you say love a first sight. We married in 1919, when I was 19 years old. Two months before grandmamma died.

I always wanted to have children, so we tried several times. But when I thought of names of people I knew from the Titanic to name the children I had after them, the babies I had, never saw what was outside the hospital.

Later then I noticed the pattern, so I named my daughter Jane. She is five years old now. My 3rd child. Now, I'm trying to survive WW2.

You know dearest journal, when I go to bed I still have those nightmares that I had on the Titanic. When I close my eyes, the faces of the people I know come into view. Jeremy, father, Jack, mother.

I know I will see them again, someday. And they will see me. We will be together just as it was before. The only difference is, we will be happy.

With that dearest journal, I have one last entry, a poem:

"'Tis a strange mystery the power of words!

Life is in them, and death. A word can send

The crimson color hurrying to the cheek.

Hurrying with many meanings; or can turn

The current cold and deadly to the heart.

Anger and fear are in them; grief and joy

Are on their sound; yet slight, impalpable:-

A word is but a breathe of passing air."

There you are dearest journal, my life story. All it's wretchedness and pleasure.

With that Winifred Morrill closed her journal, with tears streaming down her face. She laid down on what was left of a couch, and closed her eyes. Never to write again.

(A/N The poems in my fan fiction are real poems from famous Arthur's. Some poems I changed the words around, like for the poem Jeremy said. ANYWAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!)


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